The List
by Shadow.Alchemist13
Summary: Rin has a list of things that she wishes to complete, but she has less than a month to do so. After enlisting the help of a mysterious boy she meets in a park, she sets off to complete it. But why does she only have a month? Maybe it has to do with the fact that she's dying... Lame Summary, please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**I kinda had this idea forever ago... Well, anyways, I'm posting it now, so that's all that matters! Before you continue reading, please know that in order for me to continue a story, I want to get at least one review. Thanks :)**

**The genres of this fanfiction are probably adventure, romance, angst, hurt/comfort, tragedy, some humor, and I think that's it. **

**Disclaimer: Vocaloid will probably never be mine. Ever. Which makes me sad. **

* * *

What would you do if you only had one month to live?

Skydive? Test of Courage? Confess to the boy of your dreams? Cry over your cruel fate?

What if each day you knew you were getting weaker and weaker, and that time was running out? That you hardly had any support, except from the aunt that you never actually meet?

Rin Kagamine is now going to figure out the answer.

* * *

Rin's P.O.V

"Rin, I'm not sure how to say this, but you only have a month to live. A month and a half at most," the doctor said. There was a sudden hush in the room, and I felt my stomach twist in an unhealthy knot. "Rin... I'm sorry," the doctor said. "I didn't mean to say the news so suddenly, and you are clearly in shock-" His words were cut off by my loud laugh.

"In shock? Sorry, doc, but I knew that this was probably already the case. No need to sweat it." My words were said with an air of nonchalance and a carefree attitude, but I really just wanted to go to the nearest bathroom so that I could puke in peace.

My name is Rin Kagamine. I'm sixteen right now.

I will die at sixteen.

I was currently at the hospital- my home for the past four years- getting my usually daily check up. The doctors always did that for some strange reason, as if hoping to find out whatever was wrong with me. As if. Instead, all they do is find more things that are messed up inside of me.

When I was ten, my family and I got into a car accident. My parents were announced dead, and my younger brother and I were taken to an orphanage. When I was eleven, I had felt continuous pain in my stomach, which eventually lead up to me having my first "attack"- coughing up blood, wheezing for air, and some more symptoms. When I was twelve, my aunt adopted my brother and I, and he moved in with her. I, on the other hand, was immediately taken to the hospital, never actually meeting my aunt. Or my brother, ever again.

Since then, the doctors have done many tests on me, trying to figure out what's wrong with me. They think that it has to do with the car accident- something about the glass puncturing me in a funny way-but have yet to figure out how, or why. I have yet to leave the hospital grounds since I first came here, four years ago, always told to remain inside in fear that I would have an attack out in public. I have those attacks about four or five times a month, but the doctors say it will get worse as time goes on.

"Dr. Kiyoteru," I say in a loud voice, ignoring the nurse, Momo Momone, who is currently crying loudly. She has been with me all four years. Why I'm not crying, I have no idea. Probably because I'm in shock. "I have one last wish before I die. Will you let me grant it?"

"Yes... of course," he says in this hushed sort of whisper. "No matter what."

"In my last month, I want complete freedom. I'm not going to stay in the hospital- instead, I want to go out in the city and actually experience what it's like to live."

"Rin, I'm not sure if that's a go-"

"I don't care if it's a good idea, I want to try and see what it's like out there. I've never actually been outside in the last four years, and I want to see what it's like! I'll come back once a week for daily check ups, but I'm leaving this prison place, okay? And, money won't be a problem. My aunt left me with like three of her debt cards," I said quite rudely.

"I'm not sure if I have permission to allow you to do that," Kiyoteru said quietly.

I walked up to him, and said, "Well, I'm giving you permission now. And, even if we don't get 'permission,' then I'm going to break out anyways. Okay?"

"Fine. When do you want to leave?"

"Today. It's the morning, I have an entire day to burn. I'm sure that you have some spare clothing for me... I'll just get everything ready, and leave!"

And, thirty minutes later, I did.

The hospital gave me a backpack, where I put in a spare change of clothes, my medication, cell phone, tooth brush, and wallet. I also had a picture of my parents, and a gift that they gave me when I was young- four clips and a bow. I didn't really feel like wearing it in my hair.

The world hadn't really changed in the past four years. After renting a room in a hotel for the night, I left to go and buy some new clothing, which took most of the day. By the end of it, however, I got lots of new shirts and pants, the majority of them black or a dark color. I didn't feel like wearing bright colors when my death loomed right ahead of me.

Death.

I don't want to die.

I returned to the hotel room, and set all of my bags down. I then changed into some of my new clothing, and sat down on the bed. I kept my clips in my hair, but left my bow off.

A month.

I have a month. That's all.

I quickly got up, and left the hotel. I don't want to think about what's coming around the corner, not at all. If I do, I'll have a panic attack.

Twilight was setting as I began walking to a park that I had seen while walking to the hotel. I pulled the hood of my jacket up, and then put my buds into my ears, drowning out the sounds of the rest of the world. After settling on a bench, I pulled out a small notebook that I carried around with me everywhere. Usually in that notebook, I wrote down song lyrics, or perhaps stories that I had thought of. Now, I had something else in mind.

_The List:_

_1. Sing an original song in front of a giant audience.  
_

_2. Meet some sort of famous singer- perhaps Hatsune Miku or Kaito Shion? Maybe Gumi Megpoid or Iroha? Any one of them will work, at any rate._

_3. Steal something from one of the people stated in goal number two. Nothing big- something like Hatsune's leeks, or Shion's scarf. Make sure to return. _

_4. Go to an amusement__ park._

_5. Go the beach, and set off some fireworks. _

_6. Meet my younger brother, Piko. _

_7. Visit my parents grave. _

_8. Fall in love? (well, I needed to put something cliche in). Oh, and dance a waltz with that person, at a really fancy party. _

_9. Find a haunted place, and spend the night there. With my best friend, hopefully._

"Really? Fall in love? Girls..." A voice says in my ear, and I shriek and jump into the air. I look behind to see a boy standing there.

He looks like me, with his blonde hair, which he leaves in a pony tail, and blue eyes. Although, the look in his eyes are completely different from mine- mine are dull and uncaring whereas his hold a mischievous glint, like he's about to frame you for some crime. Strapped to his back is a violin, and in his mouth he twirls a lollipop around. His clothing is kind of like mine as well- he wears lots of black, but once again, he has something different- he also adds a lot of yellow in. He wears a black, sleeveless vest, and a yellow tie.

"Shut up, blondie. I didn't know what else to put," I say while sticking my tongue out. He reaches forward and grabs my notebook out of my hands. After reading the list, he looks up at me, and says, "Your parents are dead?"

"I have no reason to answer," I reply stiffly.

"Mine are, and I have no problem saying it. Hmmm... so why did you make this list?" How should I respond to that? That my death is coming, and I just want to do a few things before it's done? I don't think that he would believe me.

"I just... I just felt like doing these things, okay? Now, can I have my notebook back?" I ask while stretching out to grab it. He pulls it a little farther and flips through, stopping here and there to read a page. I blush bright red, not have ever intending to show my songs to anyone else.

"What's with this song? Um, the one called 'Tokyo Teddy Bear'?" The rude blonde boy asks.

"Me wanting to change, is that so hard so tell? Now, give it back," I say while desperately reaching forward.

"Really? It's kind of messed up... How would you sing it?" I reach forward again, only to have a sharp pain in my side. I fall to the ground, coughing. Suddenly, the boy is next to me, his arms kind of around me, and he looks like he's panicking. "Hey, you okay?" He asks after my little fit. I swallow back some dizziness and then swat his hand away.

"I'm fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be leaving," I say, and then grab my notebook, which he dropped.

"No, wait," the boy calls, and I stop. "You... you're interesting, girl. Most girls would have tried flirting with me by now, since I'm incredibly good looking-"

"And narcissistic," I say, but he ignores me.

"-But you haven't once! And, what's more, I like your lyrics, so I want to read the rest of your notebook. Mind if I borrow that?" I begin walking, and motion for him to follow. He does, and falls in stride with me. "My name is Len Kagamine. Yours?" I stop walking, and stare at Len. "What?"

"Are... are we related, somehow?"

"Don't think so. Why?"

"My name is Rin Kagamine," I say in a shaky voice. He gapes at me, and then half shrugs his shoulder. "Anyways, can I keep this notebook?"

"No, Len. But, I have a deal for you. If you help me accomplish this list in less than a month-"

"-Why a month?" I flinch, and then shake my head.

"Reasons. Anyways, if you help me complete this list in a month, I will allow you to help me read through my notebook as we go to our various locations. And, I will explain why I wrote each story, or lyric. Deal?"

"Deal," he says without any hesitation, and then pulls his phone out. "Let's exchange numbers?" I nod my head, and we do so. "Where do you live, Rin?" Len asks, and I ignore the "Stalker Alter" that flashes through my head. I shouldn't be trusting this boy so easily, but something about him attracts me to him. Anyways, if there is any sign that he may hurt me in anyway, I will ditch Len, so I will probably be okay. Hopefully.

"Here," I say as we stop in front of my hotel. "But only for tonight. I'm kinda going to be moving around some."

"Great! I guess I'll rent a room here as well," Len says, and he enters the building.

"Wait, what? Why are you renting a room for yourself?" I ask in a confused voice as I follow after him.

"Oh, you want to share a room?" Len asks, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Stupid! I meant why are you renting a room?" I ask, my face heating up.

"All I have to return to is an empty apartment, so what's wrong with staying here? I haven't paid rent yet, anyways, so all shall be good." After does that, we go into our separate rooms, and I plop down onto my bed. I open my notebook, study my list, and then add a completely unreasonable goal, making my list complete.

_10. Live._

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**And, that was the end of chapter one! Did you like it? Remember, one review (although I do prefer more) to continue! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Waaaah! A lot reviews! Thanks so much, everyone! And that means that this story continues :D So, here is chapter 2!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Vocaloid, would I really be writing fanfics about it?**

* * *

Rin's P.O.V

A loud knock, and the shout, "RIN!" woke me up from my nightmares. After pulling a blanket around myself, I slowly got up and answered the door, wondering who on Earth would bother me this early. All the nurses knew better than to try to wake me up early.

Except I wasn't at the hospital. I was at a hotel.

Yesterdays events came flooding back to me, as I opened the door. There Len stood, looking quite haggard and annoyed. "Damn, Rin! I've been standing out here for 20 minutes, and I called you at least 7 times. Do you ever wake up like a normal, proper human? It's 11:00!" His violin was strapped on his back, I noticed through my haze.

"Really? That's way too early... wake me up in a couple of hours." With that, I closed the door in Len's face, only to have his screams for me to wake up enter the room. I reopened the door, annoyed, and Len burst in the room before I could utter a single world. He quickly ran to my bed, and then sat on it. "Get ready. I'm not going to let you go back to sleep."

I stuck my tongue out, grabbed my backpack, and then ran to the bathroom. I then took out all of my prescribed daily medication, and took about 7 pills without any water. I was used to taking them.

After getting ready, and wearing more dark clothing, I came out of the room, to see Len flipping through my notebook. "Hm... some of these songs I get, but some I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about."

"That's nice," I said dully, not really paying attention.

"Are any of your songs not dark or depressing? I'm just honestly wondering." I thought about it for a long time. So long that Len kept on coughing impatiently.

"I think that maybe before I... before somethings happened, I wrote happier stuff." I was about to say 'Before I got hospitalized,' but I haven't told Len about my... condition, and I have no intention of doing so. I don't want him to treat me like a cripple, nor do I want his sympathy or pity. "And then I soon realized," I said while munching on an orange.

"Realized what?"

"Life's a bitch."

"Oh. Well,one day write me a happy song. Better yet, right me a stupid love song." There was silence for some period of time. Then- "Anyways, I looked over your list, and I have a couple of questions. First off, what's with number ten?" I thought about my (stupid) wish to live, and tried to find a valid excuse.

Surprisingly, I found one that was half true. "I've never really acted like myself. I feel like I was just following the everyday norm, fitting in with my surroundings. Then things changed, and I have a month to act and be myself. So I will be." He nodded his head.

"I think that number six, meeting your brother, Piko, and number seven, visiting your parents grave will be easiest. So, where are they?"

"I don't know." Len dropped my notebook.

"You don't _know?" _I nodded my head wordlessly. "But they're your family. You should know."

"I was separated from my brother, and I've only visited by parents grave once, so I don't remember it." That and I have had some memory loss over the years. Nothing too significant, but random things here and there. Including the memory of where my parents grave is.

"Oh-kay-then. How about we just go to an amusement park."

"Don't you think that's weird? We barely know each other."

"Then we can get to know each other here."

I shrugged my shoulders, and then said, "But you need to leave your violin here. They won't let you have that on a roller coaster." Len looked hesitant, almost scared, but he nodded his head.

* * *

I looked around the amusement park, trying to decide where to go first. "Let's go on that one," I said while pointing to the biggest one with the most extravagant loops and twists.

"W-What? I don't want to go onto that," Len said, and I noticed that he was trembling. "How about we go onto t-that?" Len asked while pointing to this kiddy ride.

"Len?" I said very seriously.

"Yes, Rin my dear?"

"You are a coward. And we are going onto that ride."

"But-"

"I said we are going on that ride," I practically hissed out while smiling evilly.

"Of course, Lady Rin. Anything else your heart desires at the moment?" I shook my head, and we joined the ridiculously long line.

"I-I can't d-do this, R-Rin," Len said as we climbed into the kart-thingy. We were the first people. He had clung onto my arm, and was trembling the entire time. "O-Oh god... I'm going to puke... g-going to p-uke... here it c-comes."

"Stop being such a sissy," I said as I strapped the two of us in. The roller coaster began moving forward, up a steep hill.

"H-Holy shit... t-those people a-are f-freaking a-a-ants," Len said as we neared the stop. "Hey, Rin?"

"Hm?"

"If we die on this thing, I swear I will come back and haunt YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Just as Len said 'you', we began going down. I screamed in excitement as Len screamed in fear and hung onto my arms. I began laughing, enjoying the ahdrenalin coursing through me, the wind through my hair.

I was disappointed when it ended, all too quickly. Of course, Len begged to differ. "That was terrible," he said. "We are never, ever, _ever _going to do that again. Got that, Rin?"

"No. Oh, look! Pictures," I said, and then pulled Len to one of those stalls that sold the pictures of people while on the ride. Len's face was hilarious- his eyes were bulging, and he looked like a housewives that had just seen a rat in one of those daytime dramas. I laughed for about 5 minutes straight.

"Okay, I'm better now," Len said, as I bought the picture and carefully tucked it into my notebook. "Let's get something to eat, since I didn't have breakfast."

There was a little stall selling crepes and hot coco near the huge ferries wheel that towered the entire park. Len bought us some (despite my protest, he said that the entire day was his treat), and we began walking around while eating the delicious food.

"So, what's your life been before this?" I asked Len.

"Hmm... well, I had a pretty decent one till I was around, let's say, eight? My parents both died in a plane crash, and ever since then, I've been afraid of any sort of height," Len said, and I felt a twinge of guilt. No wonder he didn't want to go on the roller coasters. "I inherited my father's violin, and I moved in with my uncle, but he was an alcoholic. After a couple of years, I began working to support the two of us."

"That isn't right," I mumbled. "Your uncle should have taken care of you. Or, you should have left him, or something. Said that the conditions weren't right, and told the officials."

"Why would I do that?" Len asked, a bewildered look on his face. "Yeah, my uncle had his faults, but I still loved him."

"Past tense?"

"He died last year."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Len said, obviously eager to get off the subject of his uncle's death. "Anyways, being with him would be better than being in a orphanage." This time I was the one who gave him the bewildered look. "Well, I've always heard this terrible rumors about those kinds of places, so..."

"They're not as bad as you think," I said.

"Really? What's your story."

"Somewhat similar to yours. Um, when I was ten, my family got into a accident. But it wasn't a plane crash; it was a car crash. Anyways, they were both killed- my mother dying immediately, my dad the next morning- and I was fatally wounded, with some side effects that I still have today. My brother, Piko, and I were sent to the orphanage."

"So that's where you separated? You were adopted by separate families?"

"No, we were adopted by my aunt."_  
_

"Then what happened? Did your aunt not like you?"

"I don't know. I've never meet her before."

"_What?! _How long have you been under her care?"

"About four and a half years," I said casually. Len, however, looked completely shocked.

"Aren't you curious at all? I mean, she could be a serial killer for all you know," Len said in exasperation.

"Of course I'm curious. I was especially curious when she first adopted us, but now it's died down some. She obviously doesn't want to meet me, and I don't blame her. She pays my bills, so I won't but into her business if she doesn't want me to." Len shook his head, and I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I didn't come here with you to listen to talk about my depressing past, okay?" I grabbed his hand. "I came for fun, so let's start our day already."

Len nodded his head, and we went to various stalls. First was the one were you would through a small ball to knock down some bottles. "Okay... I got this, Rin," Len said, and he through as hard as he could. He knocked down all three. "Okay, pick one of your choice."

"What? You won it."

"Yeah, but I wanna give ya a gift." I shrugged, and then pointed to an orange that was riding a road roller. Len gave me a puzzled look, but it got it for me. He turned to hand it to me, but I just dropped some cash into the stall managers hand, and then took the ball into my hand. I managed to knock down all three as well.

"Which one do _you_ want?" I asked Len. He pointed to a banana plushie.

"Creepy," I said.

"Yup."

The rest of the day was rather enjoyable. Len pulled me to go onto all the roller coasters, despite me not wanting to for his sake (funny how that flipped). He also managed to win me a purple butterfly necklace after singing along to the song "Migikata No Chou."

His voice was beautiful.

And, for once, I managed to let lose and stop being my usual dark, depressed self. It was weird for me, at first, but it felt nice acting, and actually feeling cheerful. Wonder when the last time that happened was. Another first time: I didn't think about my death that was looming over my head. I just didn't _care; _I was too busy having fun and goofing around.

Our hands were linked together, and Len tugged me to the spinning teacups ride. I smiled, but was a little nervous- I didn't want to puke all over myself. Speed gathered, and Len threw his head back and laughed. I smiled, but at the same time I began thinking about something rather serious.

We got off, me still deep in thought, as we made our way around the amusement park once again. A voice cut through my thoughts: "ALL COUPLES, COME HERE FOR THE CHANCE TO WATCH THE FIREWORKS TONIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE FERRIS WHEEL! ALL _YOU_ HAVE TO DO IS SHOW ME YOUR TALENTS! THEY HAVE TO MATCH, SINCE YOU ARE A COUPLE, OF COURSE! AND THEN, TA-DAAAA! TICKETS!" A girl with blonde hair and striking golden eyes yelled out to the crowd. She stood on a small podium, and random couples kept on coming up to do various tricks or show talents, most of them rather stupid. A couple here and there were good, and they were awarded with a ticket to be in the Ferries Wheel during the show.

"So, they're fireworks tonight, eh?" Len said. "We should seem them.

"Apparently so. It would be cool seeing them at the top of the Ferris Wheel," I said, and then Len smirked mischievously. I had learnt through the course of that day to not trust that smirk.

"Then lets go get some tickets," Len said. He grabbed through the hand and pushed through the crowd, ignoring my protests. "Hey, we would like to get tickets," Len said casually. When the girl saw me, she stared in complete shock, as if she had seen a ghost. She also seemed happy, however. But, she masked it well, and then said:

"Oh, realllllllly? Are you an actual couple, or are you just trying to scheme your way in?" the girl asked while glaring at me. I looked at Len, who winked.

Ah, what the hell.

"Of course we are a couple," I said while giggling and twirling a strand of my hair. "I love my little Lennykins." Several snickers from the crowd, but I ignored them as I promptly went and latched myself onto Len's arm. Len seemed shocked, not to mention amused, at my transformation.

"Then prove it. With a kiss," the girl said. I rolled my eyes, but leaned forward and kissed him on the check. "I meant on the lips," the girl said.

"Ah-ah-ah," I fake scolded. No way I would actually kiss that booger brain. "I just want the tickets already, honey," I said while leaning into Len. He responded by wrapping his arm around me.

"Okay, okay. So, what's your talent."

Oh.

I forgot about that.

My brain went blank as I tried to think of something to say. Then it hit me. "Singing," I said, but Len also said it at the same time.

"Great!" The girl said, and then she flipped open her phone. After a few clicks, she said, "Okay, here are the songs I've got on my cellular devices, aka my phone. Let's see... 'Cynical Romance', 'Magnet' , 'Melt, duet version.' Those are my only duets that fit the theme of 'couples', so choose one!"

"Cynical Romance," I said without any hesitation. I didn't exactly want to sing about an 'Intoxicating Love that's also a Sin,' and I wasn't crazy about all of the 'La-la-la's' in Melt.

The music began, and I took a deep breath. Len went in first, due to me to not realizing that we had to start. I joined in and-

Holy shit.

We sound freaking amazing together.

In a few seconds, we had the crowd cheering for us, and we were attracting even more. I closed my eyes, and tried to focus on singing, focus on the crowd, focus on anything but how amazing Len's voice was, how it seemed to gently carry the song along, how I realized about two seconds ago how _incredibly hot_ he was.

Go me for being super late for realizing things.

The song ended, and we both bowed, then waved, to the crowd. A rather large amount of people had gathered around us. The girl smiled, and handed me and Len our tickets. As I moved to put it into my pocket, I noticed that another piece of paper was right behind it. As I began pulling it out, I saw the golden haired girl shake her head in the corner of my eye. I realized that she didn't want anyone else to see or read it.

"Hey, uh, Len, I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Um, okay," Len said, and I rushed there. I quickly went into a stall, and then locked it behind me. I opened it.

_I recognize you. _The next sentence was crossed out, almost so that I couldn't read it. But I managed. _You've been at the hospital for a long time, right, Rin?_ My heart began hammering hard. How did she know me? _Anyways, meet behind the Ferris Wheel after the fireworks show, when the park closes. Bring the boy if you have to. _

What on Earth did this mean?

I rejoined Len, but I was uneasy. How did she know that I was from the hospital? What did she want from me?

"Rin," Len said, and I looked up suddenly. "You agree, right?" He asked, and I nodded my head several times.

"Yes! Of course," I said, not having a clue about what he was taking about.

"Oh really? I didn't know that you were against Women's Rights, Rin."

"What?"

"You haven't been listening," Len said with a sigh. "Otherwise you would understand what I was talking about."

"Sorry, Len," I said guiltily. "I've just been thinking about somethings."

"Did something happen in the bathroom?" Len asked, and I was surprised by how much he noticed the change in my moods. "When you came back, you were all depressed and mopey, no longer cheerful and happy."

"N-Nothing too big." The intercom across the park suddenly came on.

_The Fireworks Show will be starting in ten minutes. If you have a pass to be on the Ferris Wheel during this time, please make way to it._

"Guess that's our cue," Len said, and we began walking towards the Wheel.

"Hey, are you sure about this? I mean, with your fear of heights and everything?" I asked Len, but he just smiled sadly.

"It's okay, Rinny. I can live with it, just this once. I mean, you want to see the show, and it's a 'Couples Only' thing, so who else are you going to pretend to be a couple with?" I shrugged, but I still felt guilty.

We got into the Ferris Wheel, and began upwards. Len and I talked about trivial things, but I wasn't really listening. I began wondering about many things- why Len seemed to be so okay with facing his fears for me, what Neru wanted with me, why I was so at ease with Len, how everyone at the hospital was doing...

"Oh god," Len said while trembling and looking down. We were only a quarter of the way up, yet Len seemed to be panicking. I went onto my knees, and grabbed Len's hand.

"Len, calm down," I said in a firm, yet gentle voice. He just gave a whimper, his eyes glued to whatever what was happening down on the ground. "Len, look me in the eye." Very slowly, Len turned his head. I gazed into his eyes- they were absolutely beautiful-and tried to smile reassuringly. Len tried to smile, but it was a pathetic attempt. His head began moving to look but down, but I caught it when my hand, and then forced him to look back at me. "Eyes on me," I said.

We stopped at the very stop, and then the first fireworks launched up. Len seemed better now that he was distracted, and sat silently, enjoying the beauty. "Don't fireworks remind you of flowers, kind of?" Len asked, and I nodded my head mutely, and idea forming in the corner of my head. I desperately grasped it, wondering what I would get- a lyric, perhaps, or maybe a story. "I mean, the way it explodes, and the different colors... like, a Fire Flower."

And then it hit me.

"Paper!" I gasped while throwing my hand out. "I need paper and a pen." I managed the pen, and Len gave me the back of his ticket to write on.

"What are you doing?" Len asked.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think." After a few more seconds, I thrust the paper into Len's waiting hand.

_"Like a Fire Flower _  
_So I won't get put out _  
_My sparks will fly and I'll launch my dream. _  
_"I'm glad I didn't fall in love with you from the start." _  
_Was the lie that followed."_

"This will be the chorus," I explained. "I'll the rest of it at the hotel, since I didn't have enough room. And, look! It's cheesy romance, for you, and will be a bit on the depressing side, for me! It works perfectly," I said.

"You're pretty amazing," Len said, and I gave him a genuine smile. We sat in silence, enjoying the show.

"Oh," I said without turning my head to look at him, my eyes glued to the fireworks show. "After this we have to meet up with that girl who gave us the tickets," I said. "Apparently she knows me somewhere."

"Are you crazy?!" I looked at Len in confusion. "She could be a serial killer, for all you know, and you agreed to this?"

"No. She just gave me a note, and on it said something that makes believe that I knew once before," I said.

"Then why don't you remember her?" I shrugged. The show went on for a few more moments, and we began descending down. When we got off, we rushed past the exiting crowd, and then made our way in a tiny niche near the exit of the Ferris Wheel.

After about ten minutes of waiting, the girl finally showed up. Most of the park had cleared up, but she didn't see us. I stepped out of the shadows, and the girl let out a little shriek before running and tackling me with a hug. She was crying, but they seemed to be tears of happiness.

"RIN! Ohmygosh, RIN! I've missed you so much! I... I thought you were dead," the girl said in between sobs. Len looked... well, I couldn't read Len's expression. I, on the other hand, was completely confused.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked the girl. She looked at me, her tears falling onto my face.

"You don't remember me?"

"No."

"We were best friends from K-4th grade."

"We were?"

"You really don't know," Neru said, and I shook my head. "Well, my name is Neru Akita. After the accident, I never heard from you again, so I assumed the worst- that you were dead. But I never expected you to not remember me." Her voice sounded panicky, which is never a good thing. I looked over at Len once again, and he was looking at me with a confused expression.

"Um, Len... could we talk _alone, _please?" I asked kindly, and Len nodded his head wordlessly. He walked a little bit off, close enough to see us but far enough to not be able to hear if I didn't speak loud enough.

"Ah, Neru... how do I say this?"

"So, you lost your memories in the accident?" Neru asked, I shook my head. "Then wh-"

"I lost _some _of my memories due to what came _after_ the accident."

"What? Rin, I'm completely confused."

"I'll see this as short and simple as possible. Lots of medication. Incurable disease. Less than a month." I didn't meet her eyes as I spoke, and I tried my hardest to not puke.

My death is coming.

I will die at 16.

"Oh my gosh... Rin," Neru said. She moved forward and embraced me. I didn't return it, the only thought in my head right now:

I will die at 16.

I won't get married and have children.

I will never go to college.

I will never drive.

I will never graduate.

My life is over.

The tears split over, and I let out a wail of pain.

I don't want to die.

Why me? What have I ever done?

I finally returned the hug, and sobbed into Neru's shoulder. Len raced over, obviously wondering what caused two teenagers to start sobbing uncontrollably, but I ignored him. It took several minutes for us two to regain control, and even when we did, silent tears were still streaming down our faces.

"Listen, Rin," Neru said. "Did you forget anything else important?" I nodded my head and then burst into tears again.

"I forgot where my parents graves are," I said numbly, thinking, 'Who would ever forget that?'

"We'll go this weekend, okay?" Neru said softly, and I nodded my head. "I'll be there for you, okay? Dell will come as well."

"Dell? Whose that?"

"He was also our friend. After visiting their grave, Dell and I will tell everything about our past together, okay?" I nodded my head once again. "Here, exchange numbers and email addresses with me." We did so.

Neru embraced me once again, and then she turned, looking the other way."Rin, don't worry. Everything will be alright." Her shoulders where trembling. "You'll be fine, you'll see. The doctors will come up with a cure in no time, got it?" Neru said while spinning around and grabbing my hands. "Then after that, we will do all the things we dreamed about doing when we were younger and so much more." She was smiling, yet crying. "I'll see you this weekend, okay?" Neru said, and I nodded my head. "Goodbye, for now." She turned and left, looking back a few times to wave at us. After she left I fell to my knees and sobbed. Len gave me his coat, and then carried me on his back, back to the hotel.

I wonder what it must be like thinking that your best friend has been dead for so many years. Mourning and grieving for her every year. And then, when you learn that she is alive, you figure out that she has an incurable disease, and on top of that, she doesn't even remember you. Neru's amazing. She heard all of this stuff, but she didn't abandon me; instead she wants to help me, even though I have no clue who she is.

Even though I'm the one who is dying, I can't help thinking that Neru has the worst end of the deal.

* * *

**So, that's the end of chapter two! A lot happened, weirdly enough .-. I didn't even plan for this, it just... happened. **

**Anyways, reviews are muchly appreciated! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Everyone feels so bad for Neru, and I feel like a terrible person for putting her in that position . Anyways, new chappy! (Oh, and thanks for all of the reviews :D)**

**Also: to the guest who used the name "Asuna28": What do you mean _you_ copied _my_ idea for this story? Do you mind giving me your actual account name, instead of logging in as a guest, or, uh, giving me your story name? Please?**

**Disclaimer: Vocaloid is not mine. If it was, there would be no... uh, MikuxLen and MeikoxKaito... (Sorry if you ship those couples)**

* * *

The next couple of days before Friday went by rather quickly. Len and I really didn't do anything on those days- instead we just wandered the city.

However, we did manage to settle on one thing: we decided to live in Len's apartment for this month, rather then move from hotel to hotel. It would be a lot easier, and a lot less expensive. I would pay for half of the rent for that month, and stay in his guest room.

Saturday came quickly enough. I dressed up in a black dress, and nothing in my hair. Neru lead me out of the door of Len's apartment, Len right behind us. My throat had a lump in it that I couldn't seem to remove. A boy with red eyes and silver hair joined us on the train. He seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't seem to figure out where I meet him. When Neru introduced him as "Dell," I realized that he was one of my friends that I had forgotten.

We arrived at a rather small cemetery quickly enough. Neru lead me down the long rows, and eventually stopped in front of one. When she did, I couldn't seem to breath any longer.

_Here lies Lola and Leon Kagamine. _

A little underneath that it said:

_Date of death: December 27_

That date seemed oddly familiar to me, in more than one way, but...

Who cares, really?

I collapsed to my knees, and try to take it all in. "Rin," Neru started off gently, but I shook my head.

"I... I'd like to be alone, okay? I'll meet you up at that coffee shop in a couple of hours," I said, surprised at how stable my voice was. On the inside I am breaking.

"I-If you're sure."

"I am." The trio left, leaving me alone. Right before they did, however, Len pulls the violin case from around his body, and then his jacket off. He pulls the violin case around himself again, and then puts his jacket on me. It was a nice gesture, but I still felt cold.

I played the bouquet of red Fire Lily's onto the grave, and then sat down, pulling my knees to my chest. It was weird- their faces weren't clear, but I still remember certain things about them: my mother's voice as she sang me godnight, my father's smell when he pulled me close.

I tried to smile as tears fell down my face. "Hello, Mom, Dad," I said. Even though I knew that they couldn't hear me, it made me feel better to 'take' to them. "I wish I could reassure you about how Piko is, but I honestly have to idea." I looked to the side to see a plot of land left for Piko and me, when we die. "I-I'll be j-joining you r-really soon," I said, my voice wobbly. "I feel bad for leaving Piko behind... but, at the same time, I want this life to be over with." I pulled Len's jacket around me, and allowed the sobs to finally begin.

* * *

I joined the others two hours and fourteen minutes later. They were all in the small coffee shop, sitting around a table in a booth together, Len's violin sitting right next to it. Everyone was staring at me, which was understandable enough, but I still found myself getting a little angry. In order to divert the attention from myself, I began peeling off Len's jacket. "Here," I said, while handing it to him.

"No... no, you keep it for now," Len replied back quickly. I shrugged, and put it back on. I ordered a hot coco, but when it finally came, I didn't even bother tasting it. We just sat in silence, all of our minds thinking about various things.

"Oh!" Neru said suddenly, breaking the silence. "Rin, this is Dell. I already explained everything to him, alright?" I nodded my head.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said while extending my hand.

"We've already meet," Dell said while reaching for it. "But, hello again, anyways."

I blushed slightly. "Sorry, for, uh... forgetting." Neru elbowed Dell, hard.

"No, it wasn't your fault," he said while rubbing his side painfully, and then throwing a glare at Neru.

"Rin," Len said suddenly. "Neru knows where Piko is."

"Really?" I asked, suddenly interested again.

"Yeah. He attends Crypton High," Neru said while taking out her phone. She clicked away for a few minutes, and then finally found what she was looking for. "His school gets out in about 2 hours," she explained without looking up. "But... I need to be home by one, so I can't go with you. Meaning, I have to be home in fifteen minutes."

"It's okay," I said. "Seriously, this is enough as is." She grabbed my hands across the table. "I'll see you next weekend, okay? You still have school and stuff, so no need to worry your pretty blonde head about me," I said, forcing a smile.

"What about you?"

"I'm kidnapping Len, and we'll be going on a little adventure," I said. Neru nodded her head. "Listen, Neru. Please, stop putting your life on hold for me, okay? A month... and then I'm leaving," I said, taking note that Len was right next to me, and probably finding this conversation extremely odd. "It isn't right for me to hold you back."

"You aren't holding me back," Neru said gently, but I shook my head.

"A month, re-mem-ber?"

"How could I forget? But, in that month, I want to spend as much time as with you as possible."

"Then I'm all yours on weekends, neh?" Neru nodded, and we both stood up. After exchanging a few hugs, or whatever, Neru and Dell left, leaving Len, who was now helping himself to my hot coco, and myself.

We eventually left the small cafe. "Hey, why don't you go to school?" Len asked.

"I have reasons. What about you?"

"'Reasons'?" Len asked, but he didn't press on. "I graduated a long time ago-"

"But you're sixteen," I cut in.

"I'm seventeen, actually, and I skipped a grade, so I graduated a year early. I didn't go to college this year because, I don't know what I want to be, and I still need to save up money," Len explained as we began walking.

Little white flakes began flowing from the sky, and I easily became wet and cold in a matter of minutes. It was snowing.

Snow. I'm glad I get to see it again, even if it kind of is a big hassle.

"Wait... Len, what's the date today?" I asked. He gave me a are-you-crazy kind of look, and then said, "November 24."

What?

Last time I checked, it was September, right?

But then I realized that as I stayed in that same hospital room, staring at the same white walls and ceilings that I had grown used to in four years, the days filtered by, without me noticing. At one point, I just stopped looking at the calender- it was depressing for how long I had stayed in the hospital.

"Rin, are you okay?"

"Sorry, I just didn't realize it was this late in the year," I said with a light laugh. "I'm totally not prepared for snow- I wanted to go to the beach, and I haven't bought any winter clothes, but..." I looked around as a small white sheet began covering the city"...somehow just looking at this beautiful scene is worth it."

And, it was beautiful. As a white blanket began covering a city, it looked pure, clean, or atleast as clean as it could be until pollution and dirt began making the snow slush, not to mention brown.

It's like life. Things can seem going downhill- perhaps a divorce, or maybe... maybe you're dying at 16- but it just takes a moment, perhaps something as simple as a laugh with your friends, before you realize that there is beautiful in life, and your life is worth living. You embrace it, and you feel that, despite the fact that everything is going downhill, you're alive, and that's all that matters. That white blanket of pureness wraps around your brain, and, you feel good about yourself.

Then, as a rude awakening, the moment is over, and the snow begins turning to slush. Yet, despite this, you remember the original white blanket... even though it's difficult, you live your life out, make your life worth it.

I will make my life worth it.

"Rin, why do you have only a month with Neru?" Len suddenly interrupted, and I broke off from thinking my cliche thoughts about life. The closer to death, the more cliche, I guess. "And, only a month to complete this list?"

I stared at Len before finding an appropriate thing to say. "Because I'll be moving."

"Where?"

"...On."

* * *

We arrived at Crypton High soon enough, and Len and I sit outside of the bushes. Apparently this is a prestigious school, for the elite and gifted. I feel so out of place, but I remain seated and shivering.

"You okay?" Len asks. "I mean, you aren't dressed for the snow at all." I feel sudden guilt as I realize that I still have Len's jacket on. He must be freezing. I begin taking it off once again. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you your jacket," I say.

"Why?"

"Because you're probably cold," I say in my know-it-all voice.

"Rin. I'm wearing a sweater, gloves, and a scarf. You, on the other hand, are parading around the city in jeans and a short sleeve tee. You _will_ wear that jacket." He gives me no room to argue, and I don't. I like wearing Len's jacket- it's like a protective layer around me, that makes me feel warm inside. And the smell- something like a mix of bananas and something else... some sort of boyish smell. And, not to mention, it's freezing outside.

"So, what's the deal with the violin?" I ask Len, trying to make a conversation. Not that I haven't been wondering why he takes that all over the place with him.

"Eh? Oh, it was my father's." I want to press on, but something in his eyes tells me that that might not be a good idea.

I'm still shivering as I sit out in the cold. I rub my hands together, but they refuse to stay warm. Len sighs and pulls off one of your gloves. "Here," he says handing it to me.

"But-"

"Butts are for sitting on." I sigh, and put it on my left hand. "Other hand," Len says. I give him a curious look, but does as he says, and switches hands the glove is on.

Len then takes my left hand with his right one. "There," he says with some satisfaction, and then laughs at my growing red face. "What, Rinny can't handle holding hands with a guy?"

What Len doesn't understand is that before the accident, I was still in middle school- sixth grade. I went into the hospital in eighth, so I never really had time to date and do anything of the sort. So, this is my first time holding hands with a guy.

"W-We look like a couple. A goofy couple, at that," I say.

"Ahhh," Len says. He leans his face in dangerously close to mine. "What's wrong with being a couple." My eyes widened, and I stare at him for several seconds. He leans even closer, his eyes closed, and then...

His lips touch mine.

I don't react- don't close my eyes, don't fall into his embrace. Instead I just stare at his close face, my eyes even wider than before.

The bell rings, suddenly, and I take the opportunity to jump back and sit some distance away.

What was that? What the hell was that? What was Len thinking?

Students flood the school yard, and I force myself not to think about Len. To instead try to find Piko in the mess of students.

And, I do find him. His albino white hair easily stands out in the mess of students. He's walking next to three other students- a girl, who's wearing a kimono instead of the school uniform, for some odd reason, a boy with messy pink hair, and another girl who's staring at the ground, looking downcast.

The pink hair boy says something that makes Piko blush so deeply that his face is the same color as his hair. Piko says something to defend himself, but the boy just laughs. The girl in the kimono joins in the teasing, but the redhead just continues staring at the ground. As I watch, silent tears fall down her face. I wonder why no one else seems to notice.

But, it's none of my concern. "Len," I say, and he turns to look at me. I blush- when did his stupid smirks have that kind of affect on me?-but I still glare straight back at him. "Let's leave." That takes him by surprise.

"What? Don't you want to talk to him?" I wonder how Len knows that I found Piko- he must have been watching me. I don't know whether to feel flattered or creep-ed out.

"No. In my list, I said _see_ Piko, not_ talk,_" I point out.

"But... that's so wrong. I'm sure he wants to see you," Len says, scrambling for the right words to say.

"I doubt he'll even recognize me," I say with a slight snort that I really don't feel.

I truly doubt he will. I used to be cheerful, my eyes bright and shinning. Now everything about me seems dull- my eyes, my hair, my personality. I've lost weight from therapy, and I don't walk with confidence anymore. It's been four years- a lot changes.

"Let's go," I repeat, but Len's gives me a look of determination, grabs my hand once again, and begins pulling me into the crowd of Crypton students. We don't stand out that much- their uniform is navy, and we are both wearing black, not to mention that we are around the same age as other high schoolers- but I still get funny looks.

"Len, stop it!" I say. People begin whispering, pointing at Len, but not me.

I'm so dull that I'm practically invisible.

"Len!" I hiss. Suddenly a violent shove pushes me forward so that I almost fall straight onto my face. I manage to catch myself- more like Len manages to wrap his arm around my waist quickly- and when I look up, my breath hitches in my throat.

Piko's right in front of me, along with all of his friends. I do a slight double take, totally not prepared. What should I say, what should I do?

But it turns out that it doesn't even matter because Piko just gives me a surprised look, and then walks straight past me. I see a little bit of uncertainty and recognition in his eyes, but it isn't enough. He doesn't recognize me, doesn't remember me.

I stare at the ground in front of me- Len's still holding me up- and furiously blink back tears. It's what I had been expecting, so why did I feel so crushed? I sigh, and begin pulling myself up. Len studies me in all of my pathetic glory for a second, and then twists himself and grabs Piko's shoulder.

"Len," I hiss. "Len, what the hell are you doing?!" I whisper-scream. Piko spins around, looking at us, an eyebrow raised.

"Can I, um, help you?" He asks. His friends stare at Len and I in curiosity, like I'm a weird, alien object. The whispers increase tenfold.

"What are they doing?"

"Ew, aren't they like, not rich enough to be on school grounds?"

"Wait a minute..."

"...Isn't that... Len Kagamine?!"

I blink twice- they recognize Len?- but then focus on the conversation going on in front of me.

"So, you don't recognize her?" Len asks, his face blank.

"Should I?" Piko shoots back.

"Len," I say, tugging on his sleeve. "Let's go already. We're making a scene." He just shrugs me off.

"I think you should, since, I don't know, _she's your sister?!_"

Silence.

Even the girl with red hair looks up. I see her face for the first time, and notice that she also has fire-y red eyes.

Piko looks at me, then Len, then me again, his expression full of doubt, his eyes disbelieving.

"What's your name?" He suddenly challenges.

"Rin Kagamine."

"What's mine?"

"Piko Kagamine."

"When's my birthday?"

"December 8th."

"What are our parents names?"

"Lola and Leon Kagamine."

"When's your birthday?"

I study him. "I... I don't know." But, instead of stopping, he presses on. I suddenly notice that tears are brimming in his eyes.

"What play did you preform when you were eight?"

"...Alice in Wonderland."

"What game did we play under the Sakura Trees when we were younger with our parents?"

"Hide-and-seek." He moves forward. By this point, both of us are crying, but are voices are stable.

"Which orphanage were we in?"

"Kasane's Orphanage for Young Boys and Girls, run by the married couple, Ted and Teto Kasane."

Suddenly he's in my arms, and even though he's easily taller than me, he still cowers into my embrace.

"On which day did our parents die?"

"December 27th." I bury my face into my hair, not daring to believe that I was finally seeing my little brother after missing him for so many years.

"Then there's you answer," he whispers into my ear. "Our parents died on your birthday."

* * *

"She told me you were dead," Piko says, and I stare at him in confusion. "Meiko. You know?" I shake my head. "She's apparently our aunt, but I don't know how she's related to us," Piko explains.

We- Piko, Len, his friends, Yuma, Mizki, Miki, and I- are all sitting in an old family restaurant. Len and the others sit a few tables away from us, giving Piko and I our space.

"Strange... Neru thought I was dead, too," I said.

"But why would Meiko want you dead?" Piko asks. "Do you remember anything about her?" I shake my head.

"Well, I could have, but after the accident and all, my memories have been a little shaky. She could have locked me away in a hospital, and told everyone else I was dead in order to have them not look for them."

"But, why?"

"I... I don't know," I say. "I must have heard something before, but I forgot it. She obviously doesn't know that, but..." Piko nods his head.

"Whatever," he says. "For right now, I just want to spend time with you... O-Onee-san," he says shyly. I smile warmly, and we launch into a conversation about the most random things I can think of. It's nice, talking to Piko like this.

We talk for a total of four hours in that restaurant. By that time, everyone else except for Len has left, so Len joins in the conversation. Piko has to leave- apparently he has a curfew of eight, which I don't understand-but we make plans to meet up again. We also agree to meet up and visit our parents grave together.

"So, happy that I pushed you to talk to him?" Len asks on the way home, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Fine," I give in. "I give you permission to say 'I told you so.'"

"You know, just this once, I might just let you go," Len sees, flashing me a smile that I can barely see in the darkness.

"Really?" I ask rather hopefully.

"Nope. I told you so." I roll my eyes and lightly punch him in the stomach, to which he overreacts, and begins pretending like he is dying.

"R-Rin's punches... too p-powerful," he says through pretend-wheezes.

"Oh, shut up," I say, but a smile is playing on my lips. I suddenly remember something early today. "Oh, Len, what was that kis-" Before I can finish my sentence, something catches me.

There stand the redhead, Miki, at the end of an abandoned alleyway. Her hands are visibly shaking as she empties a bottle of some sort of medication into her hand.

I feel like I've just been slapped.

I yell and sprint to her, but she doesn't notice as she pops the pills into her mouth in an attempt to end her life.

* * *

**God, what a freaking long chapter -.-' Well, not long, but with lots of emotions, I guess(?) Next chapter (at least the beginning) is going to be even worse (*sigh*) I need to stop making my fanfictions so angsty. (well, I have a funny of humorous ones, but still).**

**Anyways, GUEST: ASUNA28, please explain in further detail what you were talking about, along with a link to your story. Please. I don't enjoy being copied. **

**Finally, reviews, please? (makes me happy .)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heyya, new chapter :D So tired cause I keep on staying up to watch a K-Drama (I feel like I'm betraying anime, somehow *sob*). Anyways, just read, and forgive me for somewhat ranting. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Not now, (probably) not ever.**

* * *

As I sprinted to Miki, the only thought going through my head how unfair this is.

Which is stupid, and selfish, I know. But I'm a terrible person, so what do you expect?

But, here I am, dying, when she is _willing_ taking her life. She's probably had a normal life, for the most part, yet she wants to die. And, I've lived my last four years in a hospital, only to find that I'm dying... doesn't this seem just a bit unfair to you?

But, still, I am pissed. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I screamed, dully noticing that I was cry- which I really have been doing too much of; with death comes many tears?- and the awkward position we are in. Me on top, holding onto her shirt, her being pulled closer.

"R-Rin?" Miki asked feebly.

"Rin, calm down." Suddenly I was being pulled away, and then wrapped into strong arms. I continued to struggle, so that I could attempt to slap some sense into that girl, but the arms refused. "Calm down," Len mumbled into my ear. My movements slowed by just a hair. "Rin, calm down." Taking a deep breath, I finally stopped struggling. "Good. Now, I'm going to let you go, only if you promise me that you won't... attack her, or something, okay?"

"Fine." Len let go, and I quickly walked out of his grasp. I then squatted down to talk to Miki.

"W-Why... Why don't you come back to our place? I have a story that I want to tell you," I said. Originally I was going to ask her why she did this, but she probably wouldn't tell me, anyways.

The walk back was quite. Len and I walked in silence, Miki trailing behind us, lifelessly. When we got to the apartment, Len set a kettle for tea while Miki and I sat down on the couch. Eventually the tea was given out, yet none of us drank.

"So, what's your story?" I finally asked Miki.

"You first," she mumbled back, so low that I could barely hear her. "What was the story you wanted to tell me."

I finally took a sip of the tea, and then set it back down. "...First off, I want you to know that this is a true story. I know the person that this happened to." I paused for a second. Of course I know the person; she's me. "Where to start..." I took a deep breath. "This girl I knew, she only had a month to live."

"She's dead now?" Miki asked.

"Basically." Because, I basically was. I was only living because of my fear of not knowing what would come next.

That's the way it was with humans. You can pretend like death doesn't scare you, like you will willingly accept it, but if you come to realization that you're dying, or in a near-death experience, you have deep desires to live. And then you realize that death does scare you, because you don't _know_ what happens next. Thus, people have their silly theories, about places we will go to afterwards, hoping they are true, when we really just have no clue. **(A/N: Uh, about this little part, I'm not saying that I believe this, although I could. I don't mean to offend someone's religion, or anything; I'm just trying to create Rin's character. Please don't hate me)**

"She lived her life, hidden away, and the precious month that she had meant the world to her. As her death grew closer, and she became weaker, she began wanting to scream things like, 'Let me live,' or 'How is this fair?'. But, life isn't fair; not in the slightest. That's why we, as humans, need to learn how to adapt to situations."

"Well, how do you adapt to abuse?" Miki asked. And then words became gushing out of her mouth, an unstoppable current, held up too long. "I got second in the country-wide exam-"

"But that's good!" Country wide... that means she is one of the smartest people in Japan! But Miki just shook her head.

"It's good, but not good _enough_. I was supposed to get first, and now..." She shivered, and wrapped her arms around herself. "And then, I for my violin solo in front of some of the government members- _really_ important people- I played one note as an E _sharp,_ instead of an E _natural_, and he noticed, so I'm doomed. He noticed, he's going to hurt me. He's going to hurt me, badly." She continued mumbling these words, pulling herself into a small ball.

"Who is he?" Len asked.

"My father," Miki replied with a gasp. "I can't do this anymore, I'm not good enough. I'm not perfect enough. What's wrong with me, why am I not good enough? What can't I just do what he wants?"

"Miki, calm down." But, she was on a roll.

"Why am I still living? He tells me I'm trash, so I must be trash, right? Neh, I look, act, feel... everything, like trash, right? Because, that's what I am." Tears began streaming slowly down her face. "T-That's what I a-am..." She buried her head into her knees as the sobbing began.

"You're not trash, Miki. You're human," Len tried.

"Why don't you tell the police?" I asked, slightly freaked out by how much her father had brainwashed her.

"I can't." She moaned softly. "Half the police is loyal to him, and him alone. They wouldn't let this pass. He's a high-ranking government official."

"Run away?"

"I've tried. Six times. His police friends always find me. It's unstoppable, so this is the only way. Maybe then every will know how he is, if I just simply... die. Maybe people will begin to notice."

"You can't just kill yourself," I said. I feel guilty for thinking about how I thought that it was unfair that she was trying to kill herself. Her life wasn't normal, not in the slightest.

But then again, who gets to choose what 'normal,' or a what a 'normal life' is? Everyone has problems, yet we all put a facade on, and pretend that everything is swell. Take the three of us in this room, for example. None of our parents are actually there for us. Other people are having their own problems- some suicide prone, some bulimic, others going through a death of a loved one- yet we all put on a mask, and dance in the masquerade we call life. The truth is, having a 'normal' life is hard to achieve.

Well, at least for some of us.

"I don't know what else I _can_ do," Miki replied. "It's just too much for me to handle." Poor girl. She was what, fourteen?, and she has to deal with this? Then again, I'm sixteen, and I'm dying.

"Have you told anyone else about this?"

"P-Piko, but only a little. I was going to tell Yuuma and Mizki, but changed my mind. I just..." She trailed off.

"You can live here, if you want. With us," I offered, but she shook her head.

"I don't want to get you involved; no doubt you would end up getting arrested for kidnapping, or something." She sighed and shook her head. "Piko offered to let me live with him, too, but I don't want to impose."

"Why don't you?" My mind began racing as thoughts began raining down.

"What? I just said-"

"You don't understand," I said quickly. "Our aunt is rich, and is probably powerful as well. I'm sure that she can help you in some way." True, I don't like our aunt, as of right now, but I guess I'll have to trust her for Miki's sake. "Call Piko, now." She was speechless for several seconds, but then she nodded her head and pulled out her phone. After dialing the number, she put it on speaker phone.

"Hi, this Piko speaking, who's calling, please?"

"U-Uh, Piko? It's Miki." I noticed her hands were trembling, but her eyes were determined.

"Oh, hey Miki. Wassup?"

"Uh..." Miki trailed off, and Piko seemed to notice something amiss.

"Did _he_ do something to you?" My brother asked in a protective growl.

"No... it's more like what I did to myself." She took a deep breath to calm herself. A small silence on the other side, and then a quiet voice.

"Did you attempt-"

"Anyways," Miki cut in. "I'm at your sister and her boyfriend's apartment."

"B-Boyfriend?" I asked Len, who just winked at me. Creep.

"Will you come here, so you that I can explain to you what's going on?" Piko said yes, and then the line went dead. Five minutes later, there was a rapid knock on my door. I frowned- surely, Piko couldn't be that fast, but opened the door, nonetheless.

There stood two police officers.

"Are you Rin Kagamine?" One of them asked. I stared at them in shock as I feebly nodded my head. "We're looking for a fourteen year old girl, who was last spotted in a cafe with you. Official name is 'Sf-A2,' but goes by 'Miki.'" She doesn't even have a real name?

"She's not here, sorry," I said. Thank god the living room wasn't visible from the entrance.

"I'm afraid we are going to have to enter you house. We have a warrant right here." What should I do, what should I do?

I numbly stepped aside, and let them in. The walked into our small apartment, and I closed my eyes, knowing what would happen next.

"She's not here."

What?

I opened up my eyes to see the living room empty. No teacups, no Len or Miki. Where did they go?

"Search the apartment," the officer in charge barked. Suddenly Len came out of his room, his hair wet, a towel around his head. When did he shower?

"Rin, what's going on?" He asked, looking at me persistently. I took a deep breath.

"T-There looking for Miki. You know, the girl we meet this afternoon?"

"Miki? Why would she be here?" Len asked, general curiosity in his voice. Was just me, or is he really good at lying? I, in response, shrugged my shoulders. "Well, you can search, if you want. She's not in this apartment." What was he doing? The officers began to search as I crossed the room.

Len wrapped his arm around me, and drew me in close. I understood what he was doing- he was making it look like we were a couple, with him trying to reassure me from what was going on- so I allowed it to continue.

"Where is she?" I mumbled into his ear.

"She went down the fire escape. She's several stories below us, now." He mumbled back, and then moved a strand of hair from out of my face. "Don't worry, everything is going to be alright," he said loudly. He then gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

His smirk told me that he knew that I couldn't get mad with the officers there.

I pretended to smile, as I took his hand. He smiled (a real one, at that), but that quickly faded as I twisted his hand around. "Ow! Ow, Rin stop!"

"Oops! Sorry, _honey_. That was an accident... you okay, _sweet-kins_?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up," Len mumbled back. And, despite everything that was going on, I managed a loud laugh.

"The apartment's clear. Thank you for cooperating," an officer said as they walked out of the room.

"No problem," Len said, and then slammed the door. I quickly moved out of his grasp, and then glared at him.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked. Len shrugged innocently, and then went to the fire escape. "Miki, you can come up, now," he called.

"How far down is she?" I asked.

"I told her to go to to the fifth floor," Len replied. Eventually Miki was next to us, again. "Thank you so much for doing that for me," she said.

"Sure," I replied. "Anyways, how did you-"

"Len heard the officers speaking, and connected the dots. He quickly shoved me down the fire escape, and put the tea cups into the sink, and went into his room."

"I figured it would look more natural if it looked like I had taken a shower, so I got my hair wet, and changed into my PJ's," Len finished. There was another knock on the door, and we all froze. "Rin, answer the door. Miki, stay near the fire escape, an go down if you hear the officers, or something." We both nodded our heads. I opened the door to see Piko there.

"It's alright, guys," I called. "Just Piko." He gave me a strange look, but I shook my head. "Miki, you should probably leave as soon as possible. Here-" I said while rummaging through the coat closet. I then found what I was good for- a hat, to hid her hair under, and a pair of hipster glasses. "Walk quickly, but don't make it suspicious. Pretend like you're on your way back from a date. Piko, Miki will explain everything to you, okay?" They both nodded their heads grimly. "Okay, go quickly. Be safe, you two." They both nodded their heads, and then left.

I collapsed onto the couch. "Well, wasn't that something?" I asked Len.

"Agreed." He sat down next to me, and then leaned into my shoulder. "I'm tired... so, let me rest."

"Len, what is up with you?" I asked. "You've kissed me twice, now," I said.

"Oh, come on," he replied. "Let's go out," he mumbled.

Me, go out with someone? That would be too cold. I would be with them for, what, two weeks? And then _BAM!_ I'm dead. No, I'm not going to do that to anyone.

"Are you _high_?" I asked. What the heck did he just say?!

"No, no I'm not. Or, perhaps I am, high off of your beautiful smell." He began sniffing me.

"Okay, either high or drunk. Get off of me already," I said, pushing him off. My face was red, for some reason. "You're going to have to get off me, now."

"Don't wanna."

"Len!"

"I'm asleep... zzzzzzz..." And, no matter how hard I moved, he refused to let me go.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to find myself snuggled into Len, his arm draped protectively around me, my head rested into the nook of his neck. I smiled softly to myself, and then closed my eyes again.

The moment was ruined when I felt the need to vomit. I began coughing widely, little spurts of blood coming out as well. I attempted to escape from Len's grip, but he held on. I began to panic- I need to take my medicine, now, but Len was too strong. His eyes fluttered open.

"Rin?"

"Len! Let go of me, now," I said, still trying to escape from his grasp. Another round of coughs began as I began to sway with nausea. "Are you okay?"

"Let go." He finally did, and I shot up, too quickly. After taking a few dizzy steps to steady myself, I began walking to the bathroom, where I had hid my medicine. Len followed behind me, asking if I was alright. With shaky hands, I took my medicine out of my backpack, and then swallowed all seven pills, without water. I then sat down onto the toilet, waiting for it to work.

After coughing up some more blood, effectively making the bathroom quiet dirty, as well as myself, I felt my insides begin resting again. I took a deep breath, and then pulled out my phone. I ignored Len asking me of what's going on, and called Kiyoteru's number. After the third ring, he picked up.

"Rin! Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Kiyo, it happened again," I mumbled, ignoring Len. I shoved him away, and began talking rapidly. "It happened with me waking up, and that's never happened before, so, I mean... is it coming closer?"

"...Yes," Kiyoteru said. "Soon enough. I'm really sorry."

"It's... it's okay. Listen, I needa go, okay?"

"Is everything alright." I mumbled something, and then hung up. Len turned to me, and began desperately asking questions like "Are you okay" or "What's going on."

"Don't worry, Lenkins. I'm used to it," I replied, trying to sound cheerful. I began walking away, but he extended his arms, and pushed me back against the wall.

"Now," he said slowly. "You aren't telling me something, and I want to know what." His gaze was so intense, he was practically glaring at me. I swallowed. "Rin, what is it?"

"I was the girl in the story."

* * *

"So, I was looking around online, and I think that I found a place that's haunted," I said to Len while taking a sip of my tea.

"Mmmmm," he mumbled lifelessly.

"Let's go there tonight, okay?"

"Nmnmnmn."

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, the tension thick in the air. I coughed awkwardly, trying to break it. "Oh, I also heard that Gumi Megpoid is having a concert, soon, so I think I'll book tickets."

"Oooooooon."

"Len!" I finally snapped. "Stop making weird noises, already."

"Naaaaaaaaaak." I then moved promptly, and sat on him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and trying to make myself as heavy as possible.

"Stop, otherwise I won't get up."

"You don't weigh a thing," he replied back. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"What's with you, today?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"Hm, I don't know. Maybe cause you never bothered to tell me that you are _dying_? And, now I'm all depressed, and I think I even cried, so this is your damn fault, Rin Kagamine." I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, I know that I'm dying. That's why I made this list, and that's why you better get your ass up, or else I'll kick it, okay?"

"No."

"Len!" I yelled, once again.

"Tell me the whole story," he said. I hesitated for a moment.

"Fine. Basically, I got into a car accident, effectively killing my parents, making me lose some memories, and causing some internal damage that is slowly killing me. Piko was perfectly okay, because I used my body to shield him. We were taken to an orphanage for a year, where I began coughing up blood. Our aunt adopted us, and I was shipped off to a hospital, which I've lived in for four years. Ta-da, the end, now get your lazy ass up."

"But that's so sad!"

"I know! I'm kind of living through it right now, you aren't helping," I said, making my voice sound higher.

"Fine!" Len said. "Let's go."

* * *

Later that night, we layed on the floor of an abandoned mansion, our sleeping bags pushed so that our heads were right next to each other in the middle. In between us were two flashlights, that barely lite up the space, and some ramen. We talked about trivial things, sitting back to back.

"So, what's the story behind this place?" Len asked. I finished slurping my ramen up before answering.

"Ah, apparently a teacher kidnapped two children, and murdered them here. Now all three spirits remain here, the teacher chasing after the children for all time. Midnight is the only when you can see them... because, well, it's midnight," I replied calmly.

"A-And you aren't scared in the slightest?" Len asked me.

"Oh, come on," I replied. "You're a male, right? Grow some balls already!"

"I'll have you know-"

"No, you won't. Please, spare me details about your No-No Zone," I replied quickly, embarrassed. We sat in silence for a couple of seconds. "Neh, Len, would you play your violin for me?" I asked.

"What? No!"

"Pllllease?" He was quiet for several seconds.

"Fine. But you have to kiss me." Before I could say anything, he sprang up, making me fall down to the ground. That jerk. Len then took his violin out of it's case, and then added rosin to the bow.

"Oi, this is my own song, that I wrote, so don't laugh, okay?"

He began playing, a soft, yet somehow... eerie, melody erupting from the string. I listened to him for a little bit, and then open my mouth and began singing. Somehow my song 'Kokoro' worked it's way into Len's melody perfectly.

"Well, wasn't that beautiful?" Len asked. I smiled at him, happy to have sung it with him. "Right a counterpart for me, okay? Then we can sing it together." I smiled again, and nodded my head. Len began smirking as he shoved his face close to me. "Now for that kiss."

I nodded, and then gave a peek on the cheek.

"That's cheating! On the lips, lips!" Len protested, but I just laughed.

"You never said where to kiss you." Len sighed, but nodded his head in acceptance.

"Fine. But, just go out with me."

"Len, what do you not understand by _I'm dying_. I can't go around dating people, and then leaving them."

"Please, Rin." He nuzzled my neck, and I shivered. "I've had the irresistible urge to just... I don't know, kiss you, hug you, cuddle with you, take you out."

"I'm going to be dead in, what, a month?"

"All the more reason to spend as much time as possible together," Len replied. I sighed (but was blushing), and bit my lip. I then grabbed his shirt, and jammed his lips against mine.

"Take care of me," I replied.

"O-Of course," Len said with a smile, looking slightly dazed. We leaned against the wall as I checked the time. It was 11:49.

"Neh, Len. I was wondering, but who did people at Crypton know who you were?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm kinda famous."

"WHAT?!"

"Well, not really famous. I mean, famous in Crypton. Although I was poor, and was living alone, I was smart enough to be a scholarship student. And, I always got first. I was the first person to ever do that at Crypton High, so that kinda makes me famous there."

"Good boy." I said. We sat in silence and Len put his arm around me. I checked time a few minutes later; it was 11:59. "Here we go," I said quietly.

Suddenly down the hall, a pair of children's shrieks and giggles could be heard.

* * *

**Okay, guess which Vocaloids they are! I'll give you a hint: they are... uh, well, one is an English Vocaloid (that just gave it away), and the other is who I ship him with. **

**Anyways, gosh what a chapter. I think this doubles how long most chapters are in this fic. So, for all my hard work, you should review :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, y'all! Sorry for the long wait, but if you visited my page, or kept up with my other story (From Rivals to Lovers), you would know that I was on vacation for three weeks. **

**And, in those three weeks, plot bunnies decided to attack me left and right.**

**I got back from the airport a couple of hours back, and this couldn't wait. Just popped in my Zelda 25****th**** Anniversary CD... let's see how this goes. **

****Oh, the beginning of this chapter is kind of horror-ish. It isn't that scary, but then again, I don't find much to be scary. Btw, this goes differently than planned. Be prepared. **

**Disclaimer: No, not mine. Yet.**

* * *

The door swung open, yet nobody came in. I blinked twice, and then looked at Len. The shrieks had stopped. "Neh, R-Rin. It's 12:00, r-right? You said we have to spend the _night._ Its morning right now. Let's leave," Len said, jumping at any noise he heard. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Onee-San, Nii-san," a small voice, like a girl's, said from behind me, but when I spun around, nothing was there. Len was staring at me, fear written all over his face. A small scamper of feet, and I felt something warm in my hand. I pointed my flashlight (which was the only light source in the area), to see what was there.

Blood. Lots of it.

Stifling a scream, I tried wiping it against my pants, but to no avail. I tugged on Len's sleeve, wanting to show it to him.

No one was there.

"L-Len?" I asked, now totally freaked out. "Len, this isn't funny," I said, as if he were playing a trick on me. I've always wondered why people would say that, while I watched a horror movie, but I know realize that it's because you want it all to be a trick, nothing more, nothing less.

"Onee-chan," the same voice said. I looked down, and saw nothing, but something—some_one_—took my hand.

When I pointed my flashlight downwards, there was no one there, yet I could feel the weight of it, the inhuman coldness to it.

"Where's Len?" I demanded, fearing the answer.

"Len?" The girl asked, her voice holding confusion. "I know not of Len. All I know is that Onee-chan must leave, now. Before S-Sensei comes."

"Sensei?" I asked, then remembering the old legend of this place. "Does he come here often, or something?" The girl didn't answer; she just remained shivering. "Well, I'm not leaving without Len," I said in a loud voice, as if to prove that I wasn't afraid.

"Nee—" The girl tried to protest, but I shook my head, despite the fact that she couldn't see me.

"I'm going to go and find him."

"...If you insist," she said, and then suddenly the cold weight in my hand was gone, leaving me alone in the darkness.

* * *

So I leave the room we were staying in, leaving behind our sleeping bags and supplies that were supposed to last us through the night. All of it is easily replaceable, so I don't think Len will mind. I decide to 'take' the left wall, meaning that I'll hold the flashlight in my right hand, and trace the wall with my left, thus meaning that I would be able to retrace my steps if needed.

It's quiet, and I hear no one. At first. From what I can tell, I'm walking down a long hallway, leading up to somewhere. There are doors on either side, but only one has light seeping out from the bottom of it—the one at the very end. Of course.

A giggle.

My speed, as well as my heartrate, increases, but it seems like no matter how fast I walk, the door just doesn't get any closer. I must have imagined that, right? Of course I did.

A shriek.

...I did not imagine that. For sure. Was it that little girl I meet earlier? I feel guilty, even though I didn't leave her behind, or anything. Is Len okay?

A moan of pain.

And, suddenly all I can think about is Len, what's happening to him, what that supposed Sensei could possibly be doing to him. I'm sprinting, by this time, not even caring about my own safety. Len. Where's Len? I need to find him, and get out of here.

Are those... hooves I hear?

But, why would a horse, of all things, be here?

I finally reach the end of the hallway, and I throw the door open.

The room is small, with nothing in it, save for a small Phonograph in the corner of the room. A sweet melody—something completely out of place—begins playing, and I stand there, watching the pin move closer and closer to the center.

Len. I should be looking for Len.

Yet I can't move from that spot.

The melody goes faster and faster, until suddenly, it just stops, although the pin is only three-fourths of the way to the center. I wait, wondering if there will be anymore.

A scream, blood curling, comes from the Phonograph, as the pin finally reaches the center. As if by magic, the pin picks itself back up, and puts it back to the beginning, so the music begins once again.

A cold laugh behind me. I whip around to see red, along with a flash of silver that comes straight for my head. Instinctively, I close my eyes and wait for impact—but none comes. I peer an eye open, but there is nothing, no one, there.

Deep breaths, Rin. Deep breaths.

I turn and race out of the room, running down the hall as fast as I can. I end up in the foyer. "Len?" I call. "Len, where are you?"

Another sickly giggle comes from the hallway I just came from. Light pours out from the door the Phonograph was in, and although I see no figure, I see the shadow of one, coming closer to me, swinging a butcher knife as it goes.

I don't even pause to think. The first door I come across, I open it, causing a rather loud bang, and race in, my heart going about a billion miles per hour.

What the hell was that?

A moan comes from the corner of the room, and next thing I know, something's biting me.

What the actual fuck.

I scream, punch my arm out—it hits open air, first, but when I punch again, it hits something—and then race out of the room again, only to wind up in the kitchen of some sort.

It's old, and falling apart, but that's the only thing that appears to be wrong with it. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down, and then see the sink. Water. Maybe there is still water, maybe that will help calm me down.

It's not water that comes out of the drain, though.

It's hair.

Do I even need to bother telling you about how I scream and then running into the living room?

I don't even bother to explore here; one look around tells me that Len isn't here, so I open the first door I find, and walk through, forcing myself to take deep breaths.

It's okay, Rin. It's okay. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

"Is—" A voice from behind me starts, clearly a girls one, although not the same as before.

"—It—" A different voice says, this one being male.

"—Really?" They finish in harmony together, and I don't even bother to think. Instead I take off, falling as I go, but getting up quickly, never looking behind me. From behind me, I hear both a giggle and a small sigh.

I burst into a study, where I see a man standing, knife in his hand. He looms over two shadow things that I can't see properly. His hair is purple, his figure is tall. I see bandages wrapped around his body. His back is turned to me, but he turns to me as I scream "STOP!"

He lowers the knife for a millisecond before lumbering towards me. His eye's—eye, since one is covered in a bandage—is a dark, sinister purple. And, I don't know why, but at that moment it occurs to me that purple really is the color of madness.

He raises the knife above me, and I close my eyes, my heart pounding.

So, I die here, rather than a hospital bed?

Does it really make a difference?

And, suddenly I'm being pushed out of the way, pushed so hard that I hit the wall with a painful thud. I see a flash of gold, and I know that's it Len—thank god, he's okay, he's okay, I chant to myself.

Wordlessly, he grabs my hand and pulls me to get up. We run past the teacher, past the doors, through the hallway, and into the foyer. He doesn't even hesitate to push the door open, and we sprint out into the cold night, not looking behind, not looking ahead, just wanting to get away from there as soon as possible.

Eventually, when we are far enough, Len pulls me into a small alleyway. There are people at the end of it, smoking something that probably isn't legal, but I don't care.

I'm alive.

Only for a week or two, or three, but I'm still alive.

And so is Len.

He looks at me, and even though I can tell that he's terrified, he manages to give me a small smile, along with a watery chuckle. "Had your fun?"

* * *

Normal P.O.V

"Where you really going to kill them?" A snide voice asks from behind where the purple man is. He's sharpening his knife, and ignores the question. "Taito, look at me."

"Did you say something?" Taito asks, turning to look at the girl with long, flowing red hair. In her hand she carries the butcher knife, but it's been years since she's used it for something other than scaring people. It only takes a series of various tricks to pull off what they did tonight.

"I said, where you really going to kill them?" The red head asks while sliding onto the desk, so that she can sit down.

He gives her a strange look. "Why would I kill them, Kiku?" She shrugs innocently, but a smirk plays at her lips. "I'm serious, why would I? I just wanted to scare them off." Her answer is another shrug.

"COME DOWN TO THE KITCHEN, NOW!" A girl screams. Taito offers his arm, which Kiku accepts, and then begin walking. They walk straight past the kitchen Rin stumbled into, and open a small door, where a staircase going down awaits them. Into the basement.

The basement holds a normal kitchen, normal furniture, normal everything. There stands a girl with brown hair and sweet brown eyes. She's peeling potatoes, along with a boy with golden hair, a sailor hat covering it. Much like Taito, he also has a bandage over one eye.

"Oliver, Yuki," he greets, but they both ignore him. Yuki, the girl, just points to the pot, where he immediately leaps to, and begins to stir it. Kiku begins chopping onions with her knife.

"A-Are they gone?" A small voice asks from the staircase. A woman is walking down from there. From waist up, she's human.

From waist down, she's a donkey.

Behind her comes one body, with two heads. One giggles, one sighs.

And, behind them comes a man, thinking about the girl he bite earlier.

"They're gone," Oliver confirms with a nod. "Sit down," he says, beckoning them to the table. They do so, and in a few minutes, the rest join them.

"Why were they here?" the half-donkey girl asks.

"I don't know. Probably for something stupid," Kiku says with a giggle. "We had to scare them off. Like always."

"Well..." Taito starts.

"We rescued you from Dark Woods Circus," Yuki continues.

"And we promise to never let anyone take you back."(***)

* * *

Rin's P.O.V

We don't say much that night, don't speak about whatever the hell that had happened. Len just warmed up some instant ramen for the two of us- which I accepted, even though I wasn't hungry- and then we both sat on the couch. It was quiet, and rather awkward, for neither of us had much to say to each other. The scenes of what had happened there kept on replying in my head, and then I realized that I had forgotten something.

"Thanks," I said quietly to Len. He stiffened for a second, and then relaxed.

"Um, no problem," he says after a moment. He looks uncertain for a moment, but then slides his arm around me, his hand reaching for my waist. I let him, and he uses his other hand to take mine.

Unlike the hand in the mansion, this one is warm, and actually _alive_.

I snuggled into him, finding comfort in his warmth, and we sit there for a long time, doing nothing other than enjoying each other's pretense. My thoughts eventually slip from that mansion to Len, and only Len- about how he smiles softly at me, and me alone, how he often flirts, yet is caring at the same time, how he helped me when I needed it...

* * *

And, now I most definitely need help.

My hands shake as I bring them up to my ears, as if to stop the words from ringing around in my head.

Dying.

Death.

Gone.

It won't stop. A choked sob emerges from me, as I bring my legs closer to myself in the confined space, trying to make myself as small as possible. My teeth chatter through my muffled sobs, but it won't stop, it won't stop. My knees knock together, and I bury my head into them, still shaking, still thinking.

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

It's going to happen no matter what.

I'm cold right now, and I remember how cold that hand was. Will I be like that, after death. My teeth chatter once again, and I feel myself just wanting to slip away into sleep, into dreams, even into nightmares. This panic attack I'm having won't stop, and I can't calm myself down. I need to, but I can't.

"Rin? You still awake? There's some more ramen if you want it," Len asks while knocking on the door and entering my room, despite the fact that it's something like three in the morning.

I feel another sob coming up, so my hands slip from my ears, and cover my mouth. I don't want him to find me. I don't want him to see how pathetic I am right now.

"Rin?" Len asks, this time a little more desperate when he sees that I'm not in my bed.

I can't breath properly, so I have to move my hands from my mouth. Just then a sob erupts from my throat, and I know that he's heard it from the sharp intake of breath I hear from him. I hear his steps as Len comes closer to the door, and then he slides it open, turning the light on as he does it.

I'm sure I'm a sight to behold, sitting in the closet like that. He stares at me, I can tell, but I'm don't look at him. I choose to turn my head and stare at the wall.

"Rin," he says for the third time, except he sounds a lot more gentle. Suddenly one arm slips around my back, the other under my knees. I gave the protest of "mmm!" but he ignores that, and picks me up. I hesitate for a moment, and I'm still crying.

I hate crying like this. It make me feel weak.

But truthfully, I am, aren't I?

He shushes me softly as he begins walking, causing a slight rocking motion. He doesn't drop me off on my bed- nope, he goes straight past, and walks out of my room. The rest of the apartment is lite up, but he turns the lights off as he walks over to his room. I pay no attention, I just sob into his chest, holding onto his shirt numbly.

He lays me onto his bed, tucking me under the covers, and then joins me a second later. I lay there, still shaking, as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer. Hesitating for a second, I allow him to draw me in, allowing the human warmth and comfort. His chin rests on my head, and I lay under the covers, not one inch of me out of them. He shifts for a second, and then allows me to cry into his shirt.

He says nothing, nothing about how everything is 'going to be alright.' Because those false words of pity or sympathy isn't something I want to hear. We both _know_ that isn't true.

I feel something wet on my forehead, and I realize that Len must be crying, too.

* * *

The next morning, neither of us talk about what happened last night, which I'm grateful for. Len hands me a cup of coffee, which I accept, and take a tender sip. _Urg_, no, I still prefer tea. Coffee is too bitter.

"What do you want to do today?" Len asks me, and I shrug, not exactly sure.

"How about we go and visit Miki, to see if she's okay?" I suggest after a short silence. He nods, and thirty minutes later, we leave.

Piko gave me his address when he took Miki that night, and, after getting lost about three different times, we manage to make it to his house.

It's _big_.

The yard itself looks bigger than my old house that I lived in with my parents. I wonder what happened to that- note: must ask Piko.

I ring the doorbell, ignoring the strange feeling of somehow being nervous. Why I'm nervous, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the size of the house.

A tall women, with brown hair and matching brown eyes answers the door. She's wearing a red dress, knee-length, and looks important, and busy, and stuff.

Wait a minute... do I know her?

When she sees me, she freezes, looking a little freaked out. However, she recovers, and asks pleasantly for our names. "Um, I'm Len, and this is Rin," Len introduces. "We were wondering were Miki is? Along with Piko?"

She gives us a strange look, and says, "They're at school. You should be, too, you know." Len looks at me as I face palm.

Right. We forgot it was Tuesday morning, meaning that most normal kiddos have to go to school.

"Ai," I say. "Sorry to bother you." I'm turning away as she says, "Wait!"

Turning around, I see the lady biting on her lip hesitantly before saying, "You've already come all this way. Why don't you come in, and we can have a cup of tea. I'll tell you about Miki."

I'm a little wary- STRANGER DANGER!- but then again, Piko lives with her, so...

I walk into the house, Len following me. It's just as big and as grand as it looks on the outside. I don't bother to hide the fact that I'm looking around in awe- I doubt I'll meet her again, so why does it matter?

"My name is Meiko Sakine," she introduces. "As you may know. Rin, are you Leon and"- she gulps right, before saying my mother's name- "_Lola's_ child?"

"Yes, I am. And, I'm guessing you're Piko and my own's aunt. It's nice to_ finally_ meet you." I say it with a smile, but it's cold, and I can tell that _she_ can tell.

"Same to you."

Meiko fixes us up some tea, and then joins us in the living room a few minutes later. "Miki's okay," she says. "The police searched here, too, but they didn't find her because I have a few rather good hiding places. Piko's in a state, with her refusing to not go to school. He thinks the police will get her then, but they have this plan. They'll be home at eight, now days."

I nod my head, as we sit in silence. A question forms in my head, begging me to ask it. Finally, I comply. "Why did you send me away, like that?" I ask, finally. She freezes, and stares at me upright, not bothering to hide it. Len takes my hand, but I barely feel it. I just stare back, waiting for her answer.

When Meiko does, her voice is shaky, and she seems breathless. "Oh, um... reasons, I suppose?"

"M'am," I say, unfazed. "I'm going to _die_ in a month. I would prefer to now why I was locked away for_ four years_, if you don't mind." My expression- a fake smile- doesn't change, but my grip on Len's hand and the tea cup becomes harder. She stares at me, clearly unaware of this information. "Tell me," I say softly. I can't hide the desperation in my voice. "Please, tell me."

After another long pause, Meiko finally answers. "I suppose it all started with a simple One-Night-Stand. With your father."

"What?" She says the next words coolly, unblinking, unwavering.

"I am your true mother."

* * *

(***)**Okay, I was extremely iffy about writing this part. I was sure how people would react to the whole Dark Woods Circus thing, or if they would even understand (basically, Taito, Kiku, Oliver, and Yuki rescued those, um, people, from DWC, and pretends like this is a haunted house so that people will stay away). I also know that they are all supposed to be insane, and stuff, but just go along with it for the sake of the story, please.**

**Whoa! Finished this in time to listen to "Ballad of the Goddess" for the third time! But... CLIFF HANGER, YEAH?! Don't hate me: all shall be told! ****Just btw, I currently have two endings planned, one good (Rin lives), one bad (Rin dies). Ehehe, I know _exactly_ what I'm going to do, though... Although I have a few things planned to through you off your game. If you're wondering because of that holy scene earlier in the chapter.**

******Anyways, reviews are much appreciated. Please and thanks in advance!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I really shouldn't be updating this since I updated it recently, and I have other stories to update as well, but... I COULDN'T RESIST! (*sob*)**

**By the way, I based Meiko's story off of Madam Red's (from Kuroshitsuji). I will forever be a Rachel (my name! Even though I'm not even white -.-" Long story)xVincent fan... SCREW MADAM RED! (*ehem*) Sorry 'bout that.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine... never was...**

* * *

"Hold on a second... You're my_ WHAT?!_" I screamed, totally confused. As I screamed this out loud, I somehow was up on my feet, tea split all over the floor.

"Yup," she said while calmly taking a sip of her tea. "And you're my daughter." From behind me, Len shifted uncomfortably, probably somewhat embarrassed to be there.

"YOU'RE WHAT?!"

"Sit down, and I'll tell you the story," Meiko said as she waved her hand. A maid came from the entry way, and quickly cleaned up the split tea. After that, she repoured me a cup, bowed, and quickly exited the room.

"I was close to both of your parents- in fact, I was the one who introduced them to each other," Meiko started off. A servant brought in some biscuits for us to have with our tea, but I didn't touch them. "Leon... he was perfect, to me. I had grown up in England, although I was Japanese, and was terribly aware of this simple fact. I was self-conscious about my dark, brown hair, and my Japanese eyes. My English was decent, but I had a Japanese accent. All in all, I thought that I was overly weird and creepy looking.

"Until, of course, Leon complimented me on my looks. He said I looked exotic, and I took that to heart. And, in that moment, I fell for him, as shallow as it may sound. So, four years later, even though I had had no progress, I was still happy to be by his side. When I was told that I had was to move back to Japan for high school, I through a fit, not wanting to be away from Leon, obviously. Eventually, my parents won, and I came back.

"I forgot about him in high school, surprisingly. Well, maybe not so surprisingly... he was, after all, just a middle school crush. Instead, my days were filled with goofing off with my new best friend, Lola, dating random boys here and there, although Lola never dated anyone, due to her fear... Lola and I ended up going to the same college, even being room mates. Nothing could really break our bond...

"Well, maybe nothing but a boy."

She was staring down at the tea cup, hard, refusing to look me in the eyes, as she told the story. Len sat next to me, taking small sips and throwing me worried glances every once and a while. I just sat, trying to absorb the story, but not truly comprehending.

"We both began working at a bar together, in a way to pay off our student loans. Most people liked me- I was flirty, and even went on a few dates with men here and there. Lola, however, was a different story altogether. She didn't flirt, didn't really smile, not while she was working. She did have, after all, have a secret fear of men that she kept quiet about. Her father was abusive and had raped her when she was younger, thus causing a permanent fear. She kept a pleasant face, yes, and that was it. No speaking to men unless needed, no flirting back, nothing."

What? _What?_ I had never heard about this... any of this. When I asked about my parents first meeting, they told me they meet in a bar, but not that my mother had worked there, or that Meiko had introduced them, or that my mother had been _raped._

Funny how I still think of Lola as my mother, although I know it's not true anymore.

Actually, no. She still is my mother- my loving, caring mother, who brought me up. Meiko is just my birth mother, and that is it. Nothing more, nothing less. I have no interest in devolving a relationship with her.

Right?

"Imagine my surprise when one night, Leon, of all people, appeared during my shift. We realized who the other person was immediately, and then, suddenly, I was remembering my middle school crush. He had grown up to be a fine man, I suppose, and was wealthy enough. Kind, too. After work, we went out to a coffee shop and got a drink together, Lola tagging along. I could tell that he enjoyed talking to her, even if she said a few words to him at most, and then I began feeling uneasy. Jealous.

"I was always the type to feel jealously, rather than be supportive, I suppose. Always have, always will." She said the words frankly, bluntly. "However, even though I felt jealous, I knew that the relationship Leon was hoping for wouldn't go anywhere due to Lola's fear. So I began to support him. Why? Because I knew that she would end up hating him.

"And then I felt guilt. She was my best friend, he was my childhood friend, what was I doing? And yet, I carried on, even through moments of guilt. And, for this, I am terribly ashamed of... although my shame becomes worse..."

Meiko's voice trailed off at this, and her grip on the tea cup become harder. She was still staring at her tea, never taking a sip, her words still blunt and frank although her voice shook. What I was to make of her, I have no idea. I just kept my eyes on her face, looking nowhere else. Out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that Len was staring at me.

"Although, my plan backfired on me, sadly. They became_ close_, Lola began opening up to all people, including men. I remember the night where I had let it slip that Lola had been raped and abused by her father. I don't remember what I was thinking, honestly. Leon had come over for a drink, and he was spilling too much of his moments with Lola, of their kisses, of everything. He, in all honesty, loved and adored her. And I was jealous.

"Somehow, through that jealously, I had somehow thought that he would find her impure if she was raped. I was slightly drunk, so that may have something to do with it.

"His rage was... I'm not sure words can even describe."

Her hand shook as Meiko said this, and I just stared, numbly comprehending what she was saying.

"He left my apartment and immediately looked for her. The next day they announced that they were engaged. I drank all day, my rage and sorrow overflowing. And, in that moment, I realized that I was both a, in love with Leon, and b, a complete dickhead. I was trying to break up my best friend and the man of her - our - dreams.

"Months of planning their wedding, and, suddenly, it was cut short. A family emergency; Lola had to go back to her hometown, back to her sick mother. Leon stayed - his work could not, _would_ not permit him to leave. As Lola was there she told me about how her mother was trying to pressure her into an arranged marriage, as her fine wish, and was unsure of what to do.

"I, being the sick brat that I am, passed this news onto Leon, who quite his job, right there and then, and then raced back to her hometown. When he came back, Lola wasn't with him. She had chosen to stay with her family, chosen another man for their sake.

"I took advantage of this time. While Lola was gone, with Leon's heart broken... it was too easy. He crashed at my apartment, as he had lost his due to him not paying the bill, and one night I managed to seduce him. He was more than ready, wanting to let go of all his anger and sorrows just for one, simple night. Now, of course, I am ashamed. Then? Not so much. I took advantage of a man in the darkest time of his life, and used it against him. I was happy, and the night should have been perfect, right?

"Except he called out Lola's name instead of my own.

"Afterwards, I chose to go to Lola's hometown, taking Leon with me, to break off her marriage. I was down playing whatever it was... it... he loved her too much. There was no point. It was fabulous, though... Leon stormed in their wedding, grabbed her, and ran with all his might. Lola was more than willingly to comply, and then they practically eloped. I was, happy for them, sad for myself. But it was okay.

"Okay until I figured out I was with child."

Ah. There it is.

"That was you, of course, Rin. We had used to protection that night - the thought hadn't even occurred to us. It was then I told everything to Lola, who agreed to raise the child of her own. Was she mad? I couldn't tell. Her face remained blank the entire time I told her, begged her for her forgiveness. Did she forgive me? I did not know. I never will know.

"Eight and half months later, I had you. I took you once, but all I felt was shame."

Shame.

No love, nothing.

Shame, of all things.

"After that one time, I signed all papers, giving Lola and Leon guardianship, or whatever. After that one time, I never saw you again, and although I did wonder sometimes about how you were, I didn't bother to investigate. My business took off. All was good. I didn't really think about you, my lost child. A couple of years later, Leon told me that they had had a second child- this one an albino male. I didn't know what to say. They were happy, I suppose, so all was good.

"And then the accident came. After a year of debating with myself, I chose to take y'all in. Yet, when I looked at your face from a distance, all I felt was shame and anger at myself. I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle it. I still took you, however, and then sent you away."

"That's where you're wrong," I finally cut in. I was done listening. "You took Piko in, you payed for my bills. I'm sorry, but after all of this, I still think of Lola as my mother." I slowly rose and bowed. "Thank you for your time," I said, my voice strange and alien like. There was a clump in my throat I couldn't get out, and my heart wouldn't stop pounding. I walked to the door, Len following behind me.

As I prepared to exit, Meiko said, "Wait!" I turned and she hurried over. "We... we could still make a relationship, if you want." She said the words sweetly, but her eyes were guarded, and I could still tell that she was still feeling ashamed. I flushed, turning a dark red, as anger flowed through me.

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't need your pity," I said, and then stormed out of the house.

Because, that's all it was. Pity. She only said that out of obligation. Not even that, out of guilt, due to my death soon approaching. Meiko would always feel the same way about me, and no matter what I said or did, her opinion wouldn't change.

* * *

"Rin... you okay?" Len asked as he set down a tray onto the table, a cup of tea and some cake on it. An apron was tied around his waist, and he looked relatively relaxed.

"I'm... I'm good. Just a little shocked, that's all," I said while quietly taking a sip. I lifted my notebook up and showed it to him. "I have, say, two and a half more weeks left? I'm getting weaker - I can feel it - so we should probably hurry. I would say that I truthfully have, about a week and a half out... the last week, I'll probably have to remain in the hospital." I said these words casually, ignoring the shivers of fear that raced down my spine.

"Rin, you don't have to... you can cry if you want to," Len offered.

"I know," I said. "I don't want to. A slight problem, however, is that I'm going to be in the hospital during Gumi Megpoid's concert... hm. I guess we'll figure that out. Another one is that it's winter, which means snow, which means no beach. Hm. What do you want to do?"

"We could go to the beach. It would just be cold, and winter like, and, um, yeah."

"Sounds fun," I said in a dull voice. "But I'll pass."

"No! We should go! I have a friend whom's car I can borrow, and then we can drive down there... oh, and we can light fireworks, and everything! Come on, when else you are going to do it?"

I visibly flinched.

"N-No, I didn't mean it like that... l-like... Uh..."

"It's cool," I said while smiling sadly.

"Think of it as our first official date as a couple!"

"A cold day at the beach. Interesting for a first date," I said with a smile, and Len brightened up when he saw that I wasn't holding what he said against him or anything.

"Whatever. I'll call her up right now," Len said as he dialed the number. My ears perked at the word 'her,' but I didn't say anything. His side of the conversation went something like this:

"Hey, Aoki?... Yeah... It's Len... From class 2-A?... Yeah. Nice hearing you... Can I borrow you car? I want to go to the beach with a friend... Yes, I know it's December... Yes, it's- I mean she! She's a female... Yes, we want to launch fireworks in the winter... STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS, GOD DAMNIT! CAN WE BORROW YOU'RE CAR OR NOT?!... No... I do not want to be killed... I'm sorry... Thanks, bye."

"I take it that she said yes?"

"Yes with a pleasant death threat that if I were ever rude to her again, she would kill me."

"Ah."

Awkward silence.

It was then I realized that I really don't know that much about Len, even though I feel like he knows a lot about me. I suppose it's not hard to know much about me- there isn't that much to my life, spending four of my years in the hospital.

"How long is the car ride?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"A couple of hours?" Len said, stating it more like a question rather than a statement. I shrugged. "When do you want to go?"

"Tomorrow I suppose. We don't exactly have time to put it off."

* * *

"Tell me about your time in high school."

"What?"

"Eyes on the road," I warned Len as he turned to stare at me. "Anyways, tell me about yourself in high school. Friends... things like that, I suppose."

"Girlfriends?" Len said with a playful smirk.

"No," I replied with a scowl while slapping his arm lightly. "Just... I mean, I feel like you know everything about me. The only thing I got to keep as a secret from you is that I'm dying, and that came out rather soon!"

"Don't say stuff like that so lightly," Len said, his voice heavy.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I suppose that I shouldn't take it lightly, not one bit, but that's the only way I can really deal with it.

Laughing it off? I suppose that's what I'm trying to do. If I cry, I'll end up feeling like one of those pathetic girls from a manga.

"High school? I feel like an old man, talking about it like this," Len said, earning a laugh from me. "Well, my freshmen year I was bullied."

"Ah. So it's one of those experiences?"

"I suppose. I was a scholarship, and I was 'showing them up' because I was smarter than any of them without trying," Len said, his eyes never looking off the road. "It was one of those kind of stories. I was on a Music and Academic Scholarship, and, well... they would steal my violin, cut the strings, throw my text books away... Mind you, all of this costed money, which, as I told you, I didn't have much to begin with, because I had to provide for my uncle and myself."

"That..." I said, but I wasn't sure what to say exactly. What were you supposed to say?

"It's okay, Rin," Len said while smiling at me sympathetically. "Things could have been worse." I nodded my head numbly, understanding what he was trying to say. My situation was worse by a long shot. "I suppose things got better when I began dating this girl named Aoki Lapis."

This is her car.

He talked to her last night.

"Aoki?"

"Yeah. She was popular and pretty; smart and athletic; the perfect model for a high school girl."

I hear tenderness in his voice.

"We dated for three years, and somehow through that I had managed to make friends with all people through that," Len said, his voice lighter.

"Why did you break up?" I asked as Len pulled into a gas station for a short break. I hate how my voice is tight. This shouldn't mean anything. Len gave me a long sideways look, a smirk on his face. "What?" I demanded.

"You jealous?" Len asked, a sly look on his face.

"Why would I?" I said, letting out out a small puff of air and looking away.

His hand was suddenly on my cheek and he moved my face to look at me. A slight smirk was playing on Len's lips, his eyes light-humored. "You're jealous," Len said, this time it not being a question.

"Yeah... well, of course I am," I admitted. He let out a light chuckle before kissing me.

When did kissing Len start feeling so good?

"You're cute when you're jealous," Len said, smiling down at me.

"You-" I started, but was suddenly cut of by a loud, "EWWW!"

I looked out of our car window to see a group of children staring at us, from the ages five to seven, a school bus in the distance.

"Ew, Onii-chan is kissing Onee-chan," A little boy said.

"Cooties!"

"Yes yes, little children," Len said through the window. "Now, if you don't want to get cooties, scram!" The little kids ran back to the school bus, still making faces at each other.

"Romantic mood ruined?" Len asked me, a sad look on his face. "I mean, we could always go to a love hotel and have hot, doki-doki sexytime!"

"'Rapid Heart Beat' sexytime?" I asked.

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Just take me to the damn beach."

* * *

**Lame ending for the win! I needed to post something, since I haven't in two weeks... oops.**

**Reviews, please?**


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